My Latest Trip to Sam's Club

[JT Keller]

My father sent this to me yesterday, thought you all might enjoy it.

Yesterday I was as my local Sam's Club buying a large bag of Purina dog chow for my loyal, Biscuit, the Wonder Dog and was in the checkout lime when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog. What did she think I had; an elephant?
So, since I'm retired and have little to do, on impulse I told her that no, I did'nt have a dog.
I was starting the Purina Diet again. I added that I probably shouldn't because I ended up in the Hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and iv's in both arms.
I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load you pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry.
The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it again (I have to mention here that practically everyone in line was now enthralled with my story.)
Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me.
I told her no, I stepped off a curb to sniff an Irish Setter and a car hit us both.
I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard.
Sam's won't let me shop there anymore.
Better watch what you ask retired people. They have all the time in the world to think.:p

[Lary Lemin]

Hey JT which flavor did he pick the fish or beef I can't choose. Since that is what we all be eating because we won't be able to afford anyting else under Obobo.:D

[JT Keller]

Hey JT which flavor did he pick the fish or beef I can't choose. Since that is what we all be eating because we won't be able to afford anyting else under Obobo.:D

I don't know Lary, but I don't relish the thought of sniffing an Irish Setter or any other dog for that matter. :p

[Lary Lemin]

Neither do I. You know my dad (may he R.I.P) probably would have said something similar. Shows you the lack of common sense some people have.:D

[JT Keller]

Neither do I. You know my dad (may he R.I.P) probably would have said something similar. Shows you the lack of common sense some people have.:D

Among many others, that was a classic "here's your sign moment."

JT

[Cyneca]

Ok in honor of JTs dog food story that my husband also got in his email, I have to tell you a story, and I will swear on whatever you ask that this story is true. I know its true because it literally happened between my youngest step son, myself and his teacher. This happened in Tennessee, and Jack, my step son, was a 5th grader.

The class was going on a field trip. Times were tough but I had set aside the money for him to take to school to give his teacher for the trip. When I planned to give it to him to take to school, I went into my wallet and the money was gone. Of course I cornered all the kids and told them that I had money missing out of my wallet and that until the person who took it came to me and told me they had they were all grounded. Of course all said they didnt do it, you know, the "not me" chorus.

A few hours later, the oldest came to me and told me that Jack, the youngest had taken the money. I told her that they were still all grounded until the one who took it came to me and told me they had done so. She went storming back up the stairs to confront her brother again. About an hour later, Jack came and told me that he had "liberated" the money from my wallet. I asked him why, and he told me that he had taken it to school that day to pay for his field trip. So I called all the kids down again, and told the 2 older ones that they were off grounding. Then I told Jack that he, however was still grounded and added a couple days for lieing and getting his brother and sister in trouble. I also told him that he could not go on the field trip and he had to go get the money back from the teacher and bring it to me.

The next day he came home from school. I asked him for the money and he told me that the teacher would not give him the money but that I had to go get it. So the next day right before school was out, I drove to the school and went in to talk to the teacher.... here is where it gets funny.

The teacher looks at me and says "I am so sorry to hear of your familys terrible loss" I looked at him strangely and asked him what loss. This is what he said; "Jack told me that the reason he couldnt go on the field trip was because his grandmother choked on a cherry seed and died, and that his grandfather was so distraught that he killed himself." I am sure as he said this the look on my face was priceless. I looked at him incredulously and said "And you bought that?!?" He was of course speechless.

I guess I should have said "Heres your sign" but Jack was sitting there and me embarrassing the teacher with my reply was bad enough. Anyway, shows the common sense of some teachers.

[Cyneca]

Oh and ask any dog person, the regular dog chow kibble is too full of corn and makes one have to use the restroom too often. The Purina ONE brand Chicken and rice is the best. Great nutrition and less residue. Flavor is a little bland but add salt and everything tastes a little better. LOL ;)

Enjoy!

[Luke]

I don't know Lary, but I don't relish the thought of sniffing an Irish Setter or any other dog for that matter. :p

I usually buy the dry cat food when I feel like having seafood, but I have to declaw my nails periodically... inicidently climbing trees isn't as bad either, that makes a good work out....

[Debbie.Jeff]

.....
I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load you pants pockets with purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry......i stepped off a curb to sniff an irish setter and a car hit us both.:p

hey jt which flavor did he pick the fish or beef i can't choose. :d


oh and ask any dog person, the regular dog chow kibble is too full of corn and makes one have to use the restroom too often. The purina one brand chicken and rice is the best. Great nutrition and less residue. Flavor is a little bland but add salt and everything tastes a little better. Lol ;)

enjoy!

i usually buy the dry cat food when i feel like having seafood, but i have to declaw my nails periodically... Inicidently climbing trees isn't as bad either, that makes a good work out....

eeeewwwwwwwwwwwwwww!!!!