Cyneca
03-27-2009, 01:33 AM
I was perusing the "Vent" section of the official site... you know the one that is hard to find anything on but I digress, and I had to copy it and bring it here where it would be easy to find and possibly actually read, instead of being buried on page 5.
The author is dancapel
Dear American liberals, leftists, social progressives, socialists, Marxists and Obama supporters, et al:
We have stayed together for decades, but the recent politics have made me realize that I want a divorce.
I'm sorry. This is hard to talk about.
I know we tolerated each other for these many years for the sake of future generations, but sadly, this relationship has run its course.
It's just that our two ideological sides of America cannot, and will not ever, agree on what is right . . . so let's just end it on friendly terms. We can smile and chalk it up to irreconcilable differences and go our own way. I'm so sorry . . . please try to understand.
Here is a model separation agreement:
Our two groups can equitably divide up the country by landmass each taking a portion, and each getting some shipping ports, airports, National Parks, corn fields, etc. We'll even split the national debt with you.
You are welcome to the liberal judges and the ACLU. Since you hate guns and war, we'll take our firearms, the NRA and the military.
Since you consider the Constitution to be a 'living document' you can write a new one, and we'll keep the old one. Since it often so offends you, we'll also keep our history, our name and our flag.
You can make peace with Iran and Palestine and we'll retain the right to hammer places and people that threaten freedom. You can have the peaceniks and war protesters and all the other whiners.
This is so hard to talk about . . . I hope you understand . . . I'm so sorry.
We know how you hate oil and oil wells, so we'll keep the oil producing states, and you can keep all the electric cars. We'll keep the SUVs, pickup trucks and full sized cars. You can take every Yugo and Subaru station wagon you can find.
We'll practice trickle down economics and you can try trickle up economics.
We'll keep capitalism, greedy corporations, pharmaceutical companies, Wal-Mart and Wall Street.
You can have your beloved homeless folks, gangs and illegal aliens. We understand how much you care about them, so you can also have all the folks who can't speak or write english. We'll keep the soccer moms and rednecks.
You can give everyone healthcare, but if you can't find any practicing doctors on your side, we'll allow your sick folks to come here and PAY for their healthcare. We'll continue to leave healthcare in the free market, but we'll lower health care costs by restricing over-stated malpractice lawsuits.
You can keep the abortion clinics, too. We know how you cherish them.
We'll keep our Judeo-Christian values. You are welcome to Scientology, Humanism and Shirley McClain. You can also have the U.N. but we will no longer be paying the bill.
We'll be happy to keep any person of any religion who is willing to show their love of freedom, and our constitution, and who will respect America for it's selfless efforts and sacrifices to promote freedom throughout the world.
You can keep NBC and Hollywood, illegal immigrants, chronic welfare recipients and liberal judges.
You can also have all the Republicans . . . we'll keep the conservatives.
We'll keep The Battle Hymn of the Republic, God Bless America, and the National Anthem. You can have: Imagine, I'd Like to Teach the World to Sing, Kum Ba Ya, and We Are the World.
Please have your attorney review and respond asap. The prolonged pain is bad for both of us.
Sincerely,
The Traditional American Family
P.S. Also, please take Barbara Streisand, Jane Fonda, Clooney, Penn and their Hugo Chavez loving pals with you.
The author is dancapel
Dear American liberals, leftists, social progressives, socialists, Marxists and Obama supporters, et al:
We have stayed together for decades, but the recent politics have made me realize that I want a divorce.
I'm sorry. This is hard to talk about.
I know we tolerated each other for these many years for the sake of future generations, but sadly, this relationship has run its course.
It's just that our two ideological sides of America cannot, and will not ever, agree on what is right . . . so let's just end it on friendly terms. We can smile and chalk it up to irreconcilable differences and go our own way. I'm so sorry . . . please try to understand.
Here is a model separation agreement:
Our two groups can equitably divide up the country by landmass each taking a portion, and each getting some shipping ports, airports, National Parks, corn fields, etc. We'll even split the national debt with you.
You are welcome to the liberal judges and the ACLU. Since you hate guns and war, we'll take our firearms, the NRA and the military.
Since you consider the Constitution to be a 'living document' you can write a new one, and we'll keep the old one. Since it often so offends you, we'll also keep our history, our name and our flag.
You can make peace with Iran and Palestine and we'll retain the right to hammer places and people that threaten freedom. You can have the peaceniks and war protesters and all the other whiners.
This is so hard to talk about . . . I hope you understand . . . I'm so sorry.
We know how you hate oil and oil wells, so we'll keep the oil producing states, and you can keep all the electric cars. We'll keep the SUVs, pickup trucks and full sized cars. You can take every Yugo and Subaru station wagon you can find.
We'll practice trickle down economics and you can try trickle up economics.
We'll keep capitalism, greedy corporations, pharmaceutical companies, Wal-Mart and Wall Street.
You can have your beloved homeless folks, gangs and illegal aliens. We understand how much you care about them, so you can also have all the folks who can't speak or write english. We'll keep the soccer moms and rednecks.
You can give everyone healthcare, but if you can't find any practicing doctors on your side, we'll allow your sick folks to come here and PAY for their healthcare. We'll continue to leave healthcare in the free market, but we'll lower health care costs by restricing over-stated malpractice lawsuits.
You can keep the abortion clinics, too. We know how you cherish them.
We'll keep our Judeo-Christian values. You are welcome to Scientology, Humanism and Shirley McClain. You can also have the U.N. but we will no longer be paying the bill.
We'll be happy to keep any person of any religion who is willing to show their love of freedom, and our constitution, and who will respect America for it's selfless efforts and sacrifices to promote freedom throughout the world.
You can keep NBC and Hollywood, illegal immigrants, chronic welfare recipients and liberal judges.
You can also have all the Republicans . . . we'll keep the conservatives.
We'll keep The Battle Hymn of the Republic, God Bless America, and the National Anthem. You can have: Imagine, I'd Like to Teach the World to Sing, Kum Ba Ya, and We Are the World.
Please have your attorney review and respond asap. The prolonged pain is bad for both of us.
Sincerely,
The Traditional American Family
P.S. Also, please take Barbara Streisand, Jane Fonda, Clooney, Penn and their Hugo Chavez loving pals with you.